Decade of Friendships Started Via Social Media

This past weekend I took my buddy and board member out to lunch to thank him for helping me with the scholarship selection process. Thanks to social media, I’ve been able to connect with some awesome people who I would not normally be in spaces with – and Wells is one of them.


Continue reading “Decade of Friendships Started Via Social Media”

Finding Something in Nothing

As a masters athlete, it is all about recovery. I eat a vegan diet, take ice baths, bathe in Epsom salts, use compression boots, wear compression socks, stretch, and foam roll so I can keep training at a high level. Anything that can help keep this body going is something I take great interest in, so when two people raved about Just Float, I immediately looked into it. Just Float offers float therapy, meaning for one hour you float on water in complete darkness and silence. Definitely piqued my interest, but the deciding factor was that these referrals came from people who implemented the float therapy for different reasons: one is an aging cross-fitting beast who uses it for physical recovery purposes, and the other is someone with a stressful job and personal life and utilizes it for relaxation and stress management. Since my husband and I have divergent interests, imagine my excitement at finding something that both an astral projector/deep meditator and an athlete would enjoy. The idea sounded intriguing and a perfect way to spend a Saturday afternoon. Continue reading “Finding Something in Nothing”

Deciphering the Code: What Chris Paul was Really Saying

“My bad, I didn’t hear the code.”

That’s what my husband said during our discussion about NBA point guard Chris Paul’s ill-advised comment about rookie female referee Lauren Holtkamp. Paul made the following comments after the Clippers’ blowout loss to the Cleveland Cavaliers in which Holtkamp gave Paul a technical foul:

“The tech that I get right there was ridiculous. I don’t care what nobody says, I don’t care what she says; that’s terrible. There’s no way that can be a tech. We try to get the ball out fast every time down the court, and when we did that, she said, ‘Uh-uh.’ I said, ‘Why, uh-uh?’ And she gave me a tech.

“That’s ridiculous. If that’s the case, this might not be for her.”

Everything up to that last line is pretty understandable. I mean, the interview was right after a bad loss, and his team is struggling. But his comments cross the line from general referee reproach to a specific gender assessment with the words “this might not be for her.”

My husband, like many men on talk radio the morning after, thought Paul’s statements were no big deal. Some of his defenders said it was a comment that he would have made about any rookie ref, regardless of gender, but that struck me as false. It’s not unusual (but it is fineable) for a player to criticize a call by a referee. However, Paul directly addressed Holtkamp’s qualifications for the job, a distinction that I’m not sure he would have made about a male rookie referee, and one that was uncalled for given that Holtkamp has paid her dues and, having refereed in the D-league, both she and the NBA would know by now if the job was indeed “for her.” At the very least, Paul’s tone was patronizing.

Still, I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was that had me so unsettled about “this might not be for her” until I heard sports anchor Liz Habib on ESPN 710 LA. Habib voiced it perfectly by clarifying that Paul’s statement was really one that so many women have had to hear in their occupations: “You’re too sensitive.”

Now people have learned a little more nuance in this PC world. Sports media couldn’t say that Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman acted like the N-word in his viral interview with Erin Andrews last year, so they used the word “thug” to describe him instead. He/we knew what they meant. And here, rather than saying “Stick to the WNBA, sweetie,” Chris Paul chose the words “this might not be for her”. His wording directly questions her ability to handle being with the big boys. Basically, Paul went for the easy shot; the low-hanging fruit.

After all, the “too sensitive” card certainly isn’t new. Women in management positions have heard it, and I as a person of color have had it thrown at me when I questioned a remark I found offensive. It can at times be an effective strategy to put someone who dares to speak up back in their place, or to simply shift the topic from the incident being the problem to the person who brings it up being the problem. Or, in this case, to patronize a referee who dared to call a technical foul on an All-Star point guard like Chris Paul.

I do not think Chris Paul dislikes woman, and I’m not even sure that his comment was meant to be gender specific, but the optics aren’t good. I absolutely believe we should be able to criticize a referee for a decision regardless of gender, but I also feel strongly that such assessment can, and should, be more sophisticated and creative than “you’re too sensitive.” We’re on to you, guys. Step your game up.